Family Guy Syndrome

It's that time of year again. Children are flocking back to school, the leaves are falling from the trees, and there's a chill in there air. Oh yes, autumn is on it's way. But with this beloved season comes a small price to pay. Seasonal allergies plague those with weak immune systems, sore throats and stuffy noses begin to keep our youth home from school...but within the shadows lurks a disease that strikes fear in the hearts of even the most cold blooded bastards. Beware, my friends. It's Family Guy syndrome.

I had a friend who had a friend who had a friend with FGS. We searched far and wide for a medicine man who could handle his case, but it was far too severe. No, not even a miracle from Gregory House could save this poor soul. You may be asking yourself, "What is Family Guy syndrome?" That's a good question, Billy. Here's the answer:

Family Guy Syndrome is a disease which afflicts over one million people per year, although it is most commonly found in freshmen. FGS occurs mostly in people watch too much television, read too much internets, and/or strongly embrace anything that isn't that funny. FGS isn't contagious, although an infected person may spread it to another by sucking them into their world of not funny.

List of people confirmed to have Family Guy Syndrome:

Scott Stapp, Carlos Mencia, Chad Kroeger, Randy Savage, The 1998 Denver Broncos, Wanda Sykes, all member of Primus, that girl who plays Ugly Betty, Michael Bay, Rowan Atkinson, and many others...

After reading the list above, you've probably come up with your own list of friends who have a mild or extreme case of FGS. By reading the following list of scenarios below, you can decide for yourself if your friends or loved ones carry this dreadful disease:

-You are having a conversation with your friends after watching Superbad. One of them immediately shouts "I AM MCLOVIN!" and laughs nervously. Following this, he suggests going to his house to watch some videos on Ebaumsworld.

- You meet a girl at a party and head back to her place for a good time. As you tour her apartment, she shows you her dog, Brian, her gerbil, Ralph Wiggum, and her cat. Seth Green. After a few more minutes you realize that she is actually a man.

-You are considered the best writer in your group of friends, and many of them often ask you to edit their papers. You're friend who is a Film major asks you to edit "Why Michael Bay is the Great Director of the 21st Century." After further examination, you realize that he is wearing an Optimus Prime shirt and has no idea what he is talking about.

-You and your friends go to Applebee's for dinner. One of your friends exclaims "Check out Borat over there!" After looking in the general direction he described, you see a middle aged man with a mustache who looks nothing like Borat. After that, he proposes that you all go back to his house and watch Bean.

And there you have it folks. Now go out to the world and protect yourselves, your friends, your children, your pets, and be thankful that I actually wrote an article.